Goodbye 2am Insomnia !

Well 9 times out of 10 shall we say! I have been meaning to share this breathing technique that is absolutely fab!! I have been so busy telling everyone about it that I forgot to blog about it to follow on from my post “Hello 2am!” https://mybestbreastforward.wordpress.com/2018/04/02/hello-2-am/ which seems to have been resolved! I am no longer woken up by drill like snoring from my lovely husband due to my lovely spare room which can be read about here https://mybestbreastforward.wordpress.com/2018/05/23/my-spare-room-haven/ because despite a few occasions of wondering about it over 18 years, I haven`t actually left him, just the room 😉! But I am still woken up by the need to wee or pee or whatever you like to call it. Usually at 2am ish, like clockwork. So, what is it I hear you ask?? Stop waffling and spill the beans woman!

Well it is something I caught by accident on an Instagram clip on insomnia and this British doctor (Dr Hilary Jones..still a handsome devil in his 60s) mentions the 4-7-8 Yoga Breathing Technique and my ears prick up. In for 4 seconds, hold for 7 and out for 8 he says and repeat 3x !! I will put a youtube link below of a yoga guru demonstrating it as I was doing it wrong at first, although it still seemed to work but not as well. So basically there I am at 2am, get the wee bit done in as little light as possible, back in bed and immediately start the technique, roll over after, get comfy and 9 times out of 10 it works. I am absolutely bloody flabbergasted and so grateful I caught the clip because it isn`t that well known from what I can gather. I don’t even second guess it now and do it as soon as I get back in bed. I have actually been using it during the day too as it really deals with any stressful times that occur. But obviously I don`t fall asleep, it`s just gets the breathing all relaxed. Gosh I sound all zen like 😉! It’s sort of become a nice part of my life. I must admit that at first it felt a bit weird, I don’t know why. It works I think because you are actually only taking 3 deep breathes in a minute and I guess that would feel a bit strange at first. If it doesn`t work for me, I wait 10 mins and do it again. But sometimes I am even nodding off halfway through the technique, so thank you Dr Hilary, you handsome devil.

Here is the youtube clip (not handsome Dr Hilary Jones by the way! )

Enjoy!

I hope it works for you too!

Until Next Time

PP

Couples and Statistics.

Over the last few weeks I have heard at least two snippets on the tv or radio on how many times the average couple has sex. The one that caught my attention was that on average a married couple has sex five times a month. If I remember correctly (perimenopausal brain fog still not lifted!) it wasn’t age specific but more in relation to how busy, tired and how many dependents were thrown into the equation. I wasn’t really listening beyond the number 5, and not in a day or a week but a MONTH! “Woooo hoooo” I thought and couldn’t wait to tell my husband! We were hitting target! What a relief! The pressure is off, and I knew he would feel the same, probably even better, if that were possible in my ecstatic moment. By the way I am convinced men stress over these stats more than women do or is that just a ruse to get us at it more! “So and so says they do IT every night” etc etc.“Really?”reply,actually thinking “Do they bollocks! Excuse my French 

But then my reaction got me thinking, especially in these perimenopausal years I am in now when I do feel less like having sex for a multitude of reasons, that why am I so pressured by statistics and what society says is a “normal” amount of times in a month, and the answer to a happy marriage?Why do I feel such a “wooohooo” moment just because we made the stats? In fact last month we might have even beat it by a few times Even more “wooohooo`s”

Then I realised that sex and statistics have been around for years and from the time we hit the age of first having sex, we are bombarded with percentages and times…

  • when we first had sex
  • how many had it under age
  • how many partners we had if any before marriage
  • percentage of brides who were virgins (try before you buy I say!)
  • how many times we had sex when we had a newborn baby
  • how many times we have sex in our 40s, 50s. 60`s and so on ….

We try and find fix it strategies so that we don’t fall behind the average number that we should be hitting. “Date Night” comes to mind. Don’t get me wrong I think it’s a great idea to take time out for ourselves from the hum drum of everyday life and those around us that take our attention, but sometimes it’s just not practical. Not only that, I can be faced with, and I hope I am not alone here, no excitement but that dawning moment of dread when waking up on the morning of “Date Night” and my libido has disappeared and shows no sign of returning by that night ! Cue ideas of candles, sexy lingerie and maybe even oysters! No? Maybe a bottle of red? Maybe two?  The pressure is on!

Joking aside, perhaps we should just be happy being together and not put how many times we are getting “jiggy with it” as the main indicator to how happy our marriage is. When all the stars align there is nothing better than getting intimate with each other, but if they don’t for a few weeks we don`t need to be stressing about hitting that magic number a month. Perhaps it will be 0 but next month it might be 20! (Ok bit farfetched that one but you get the idea!)

So, move over pressuring statistic gatherers, we’ll have as much or as little sex as we like !

Until the next time

PP xx