My Breast Cancer diagnosis and wow what a long ponder that was !

Well hello again! I have been terrible at blogging since starting work in August last year. I haven’t` worked in 12 years and it has just left me so time poor that I completely fell off the blogosphere. I never thought I would and on reflection, I should have just written. Anything. Rather than let my writing fall by the wayside. It didn`t have to be the perfect time and piece of material. What is the saying? Something about “just write!”

Brief update on work. I have spoken about not being able to work in previous blogs and being “Invisible” but went out on a limb and applied for a job in disability as a support worker and got it!! And big bonus, it is on a casual basis, so I can manage my workload! In typical Helen style, I didn`t manage it very well and over worked myself. But now is the time to sit back and well, get myself back to good health. My last shift for a while ended at 7am this morning. I just love that job and shall miss the staff and clients.

The title of this blog post and the change in my title page may be a huge clue as to a big change in my life and a rather big shock! I toyed with fancy, snappy titles like I did with PP, but just ended up thinking I may as well own it from the get-go and write, Breast Cancer. You can`t really sugar coat it. There I wrote it!

I have been advised to journal while I fight this *#%@+ so thought I might do so here on my blog, whilst still talking all things Perimenopause. Until that is, I get thrown into the Menopause very soon, but more on that later. I am a real heart on my sleeve girl. Never quite sure if that is a good or bad thing, but I am. I have had friends who have gone public in their fight on FB or Insta and I always thought that would be me. You know how you find yourself wondering what you would do in a certain circumstance? Well apparently, not. That may change but for me, it`s all about close family and friends knowing and supporting me, or should I say us, and my close little community here in the world of blogging. I hope to write about my journey, as ever warts and all and hopefully keep my humour along the way. I have so far. Bit hard not to, when your left boob is the star of the show!!

Last Monday, the 4th February will be forever engrained in my mind as the day I was told I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Grade 2. My surgeon described it as not a Chihuahua, not a Rottweiler but somewhere in between. Bit different way of explaining it I suppose. 😉 I had found a lump two weeks earlier and had had an ultrasound and a core biopsy. I will talk more about that in the next few posts but now am just putting it in writing for the first time. Baby steps and all that.

My world did not fall apart, I did not cry or wail. “am I going to die?” or anything else one thinks one might do when being given the news that you have the dreaded C word. I didn`t really do anything, except nod and smile at the treatment program and ask a few questions. And I have remained like that ever since. As has my husband. Maybe it hasn`t sunk in yet? Maybe it`s our mind and bodies way of coping, to go into a sort of haze where it doesn`t seem to be happening? Until this feeling passes, I am embracing it as I am not engulfed in tears or any sort of panic. That would be horrendous and may still come.

Next Thursday, 21st February I shall have a lumpectomy, 2 lymph nodes removed and a biopsy. If all goes according to plan, I will have 5 weeks of radiotherapy and avoid chemo but there are a few hurdles on the day of the op to go through.

I never thought this would happen to me, I don`t suppose any of us do, unless it runs in the family and I have no family history to go on. But it has. It`s surreal but we must begin the fight, there is no alternative. I am just hoping it won`t be too long or too gruelling. Writing this today has been good. So much more to say on how this affects us all, most of all our children and parents and partners,

Until tomorrow

PP

11 thoughts on “My Breast Cancer diagnosis and wow what a long ponder that was !

  1. jacqueline S says:

    Wishing you well with your treatment x Please keep us in touch with what’s going on (when you feel up to it). My cousin’s wife has just been through similar and posted facebook treatment updates, but very discreetly. I do believe messages of support from friends and family can be a good thing. I’m sorry it’s under such sad/scary circumstances, but it’s good to see you are writing again.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The Travel Architect says:

    I had noticed you hadn’t been blogging for a while and I worried there was something wrong. My best wishes to you!! I keep hearing that cancer is becoming more and more something people live with rather than die from, so that’s a positive. I hope blogging helps you through your journey. I’m glad you’re back.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Cozynookbks says:

    The two ladies above echo my sentiments, Helen.
    I’m glad you let us know about what you’re dealing with. At our age health crises will come, but try to take things one day at a time, as it sounds like you’re doing, and please keep us updated. I love your attitude about it.🥰
    Hoping all the best for you in the days ahead.🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Perimenopausal Ponderings and Breast Cancer. says:

    Thank you so much ❤️. I am so sorry to hear about your cousins wife. I am at the moment struggling to keep up with replying to those I have told but I am still busy. Appointments. Catch ups. Suddenly everyone wants to see me ! Skype. But there will be long lonely days in treatment where I may feel more like going public on social media. Thank you so much for checking in on me my blog. It means a lot ♥️. Heading into Sydney for some retail therapy and lunch ! Can’t moan about that 😊

    Like

  5. Perimenopausal Ponderings and Breast Cancer. says:

    Thank you so much. It’s good to be back 😊. I am talking comfort that I am in the best country and times for treatment. I have been told any sort of writing is helpful. Probably gets all that chatter out of ones head !! What’s that saying ? Better out than in ? I think my Nana used to say that about wind but actually it could apply to so much more 😉😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Perimenopausal Ponderings and Breast Cancer. says:

    Thank you so much my dear blogging friend Laurie ♥️♥️. I am going to try and keep a good sense of humor along the way. I think and hope I will. Somehow writing makes me feel more light hearted and humourous about life and all it throws at us. I will be able to tell you all about the menopause soon too ! 😉♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Cozynookbks says:

    I’ll be looking forward to your updates, Helen. You’ve reminded me to make sure I go and have my mammogram done. I’m going next month. I’ve been so busy trying to keep up with all of my other ailments that I’m late getting it done. 🤦🏽‍♀️
    You have the greatest attitude and that helps in itself. 😉 I’m hoping all the very best for you, Helen. 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Gina Stratton says:

    Sending you all the best. A good sense of humor is the best medicine. Stay positive, be informed and take care of YOU. 🙂

    Like

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